Lifethroughalens

Fourteen could be my magic number.  I found out I had cancer on the 14th of February, I’m going to have my 14th surgery tomorrow and I made a deal with myself a long time ago that I would make as many albums as surgeries.  In total I’ve had five surgeries in the past two years, not bad for a part time gig huh?

Makes you wonder how I’ve have had the time to release 4 albums and Ep’s along with a ton of photos.   I know for a fact I thrive the most when my life is drama and pain free.  I can cite September through December of last year as an example; I launched a new photography website, recorded and released 2 ep’s, wrote a ton of songs for my bands second album as well as recording the first one.  So to cancer, surgeries, and toxic friendships…I’m good without you.

One thing in particular that has struck me is how these (un)health(y) situations have lead me to make harsh and irrational decisions.  They also have lead me to make a couple great ones like putting together The Long Way Home, recording my 2nd album the day before my 13th surgery and moving back to MD after my knee surgery last year.

What’s great about the past two years is I’ve reached a clarity to who is important to me and who is dead weight.  I remember calling Ian after my first hip replacement and telling him from my hospital bed that I was going to play soccer again…which meant coming back at the college level.  He didn’t snicker or laugh, he said that sounds like a good idea, you should go after it.  If everyone were so lucky to have a friend like Ian.  Then again not many people have had the bond of holding your best friend in  your arms after his head went through a windshield…that shit will make you friends for life!

Alot of people will call themselves my friends but only a handful have taken the effort to come over and brighten my day when I was in the dumps.  One day Rautzen came over and took my to get a Holy Grail Reverb pedal, he didn’t enjoy sitting in traffic but he could tell getting that pedal meant the world to me that day.  I remember when Dave came over and we hung out checking out all my photos while we caught up, he told me to stay inside while I walked(crutched) him to his car; he brings that up to this day just to show how stubborn I am.  Another great day was when Andrew and Haley came by, we all had nachos for lunch and talked about all kinds of stuff.  Haley is awesome, its great to see two of my brothers find their partners and true love.

One day that sticks out in particular is when Dale had a gig down the street with Tim so they picked me up.  Dennis took off work early and surprised her which made it even more special.  She opened her mouth and I was floored by the first note;her voice fucked me up…and trust me it wasn’t the Oxycontin.  She has a voice that could fill any room and touch everyone’s soul and I got to hear it from five feet away.  It was the first time I had eaten in several days since my tongue was so swollen it hurt to move it, the pain was excruciating when something acidic touched it.  I was enjoying the creme brule so much that I pestered Dennis into eating some of it; the last thing on his mind that day was eating creme brule, but after I insisted for 152 minutes or so he gave in.  I couldn’t tell what he enjoyed more, me shutting up or the creme brule.

To put another layer of icing on the cake of how great this year has been so far; Dimitri from The Brides congratulated me on Rid of you and said it was my best yet.  Its quite trip when people that you used to see in arenas are giving you props.  That’s as surreal as it gets.  I won’t be surprised if I get to work with Trent Reznor on my third album, its inevitable.