Right about now

Dave Grohl and Taylor Hawkins are hacking out songs for the new Foos record.  Word is they’re recording it with Butch Vig. on tape. in Grohl’s garage.  I’m definitely not excited to hear anything they do at this point; they did two tracks with Butch Vig last year for their greatest hits and both songs sucked.  Not Foos level of suck (reference double album), just plain subpar songs, especially compared to songs that were left off albums in past years.  I couldn’t stand Tom Petty’s Learning to Fly the first time around, I definitely didn’t like another band doing the same song except worse.  Here are a few things that they can do to not suck as bad as everything they’ve done in the last 10 years aside from “Free Me”.

1. Listen to “Free me” and go be those guys again.  You have one of the greatest drummers in rock at the throne, go off, play in odd time signature but make it sound cool and not wanking.

2. Only allow one ballad on this album, this means one song with Grohl on piano, no more.  That’s cool you love your wife and kids but come one man, we’re here to get drunk and scream…not weep.  I’ll listen to Alice in Chains if I want to feel like shit.

3. Don’t listen to anything you’ve done in the last 10 years.  Let it Die and the other song that-I-can’t-remember were exactly the same, we don’t need an acoustic intro that segues into huge guitars more than once. Its extremely predictable and you’re getting one step close to Bon Jovi every time you do it.

4.Please do not tour as a 15 piece band with a chick on cello out in front.  What the fuck are you doing with percussionist?  Come on man, you were in Scream!

5.Use Butch Vig as a tool but don’t let him go super crazy and get everything too razor sharp.  You’re already as tight as a band comes, don’t over edit…this is why I hope you’re recording to tape. I like the juxtaposition of using one of the most arrangement savvy producers around-but keep in mind his last record was with Green Day.  We’re trying to be cool, not rip off the Who and call it our own pop-punk-opera….yeah that last line was just an excuse to rip a band that’s 40 something and rocking eyeliner…so was this one.

6. Write about some cool shit other than being a dad, how about some UFO’s?

7.  Let Taylor loose for more than 4 bars at the end of the singles.  Please, do it for all the drum geeks.

8. Guitar solo’s-we need more, please reference Summers End.  Its the only song I could listen to on the last album.  Come back to Virginia for a weekend, write a song and then go back.  People with private jets can do this.

9. Realize you’re getting old and the guard is changing.  Please make this a great album and walk away gracefully instead of limping.

10. Take me out on tour.

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